I am bullheaded...about fairness

Let's have a discussion about being bullheaded. I will admit I am bullheaded but I really can't help it - it's genetic - it runs in the family. My mother is the queen of being bullheaded (but she does it in a soft spoken manner), I am bullheaded, my daughter is bullheaded and my grandson is bullheaded (he is the king of bullheadedness). So, genes being what they are, we really can't help it.

But, I have come to a conclusion - being bullheaded isn't all that bad. I feel there are two types of bullheadedness. One - you want power, control. Two - you don't want someone walking over you. So, if you are being bullheaded for #2, then that is not so bad. You have to stand up for yourself because no one else is going to do it. But, if you are being bullheaded for #1, then there might be a slight problem.

For example, I have a dear friend named Robin. She asked me to take her to SA and she said she would buy my dinner and some Krispy Kreme doughnuts (she knows how to get me to say yes, just dangle Krispy Kreme's in front of me). So, I agreed and off we went on our adventure. It was my pleasure taking her just so I could get out of the county and she and I spend some gossip time together. Well, we got to Krispy Kreme. She asked what I wanted. Well, I wanted two dozen of those suckers and I didn't feel like she should have bought me that many. I know she said she would buy me some, but I am sure she didn't count on two dozen. I guess the normal person would have just taken the one dozen - but, I wanted two dozen (hey, it's not like we live near the place - we have to drive to get those delicious morsels). So, I proceed to tell her that I will buy my own doughnuts (yep, trying to be nice and save her some money). She says that she told me she would buy me some and she is going to buy me some! I told her that I didn't want any unless she took my money. She called me bullhead. She took my money - I got my two dozen and when I got home, there was the money in between the two boxes.

In my opinion, this is a case of being bullhead #1. I wanted the power, the control over the situation. I thought I was being nice and trying to think of her, but when it comes right down to it, I wanted the control over the situation. I wanted the power over the doughnuts!! I won't bring up that she was kind of bullheaded too :)

Here at work, I got into a battle of wits with someone and Robin said that she thought this other person was more bullheaded than I am. That is what got me to thinking. I know this other person is only after a power-trip..wants all the control. Then I felt guilty over the way my bullheadedness was with Robin. Then I got to thinking that being bullheaded might not be all bad - you need it to keep people from walking all over you. If I didn't stand up to this person at work, then they would keep just walking all over me.

This person and I discussed fairness. I believe in fairness - I strive for fairness and it would nice if everyone strived for it too. When I brought up the point of this person being unfair, the answer was "life is not fair." Don't you get tired of hearing "life is not fair"? Of course it's not but that doesn't mean we have to sit here and not fight for fairness. Look at Rosa Parks!! When she was told to get up out of her seat on the bus, she could have thought, "oh boo hoo, life is not fair"; but, NO, she knew life is not fair and she decided to do something about it!!

So, being bullheaded isn't such a bad thing. It has its good side and its bad side - just like people.

I think perfect objectivity is an unrealistic goal; fairness, however is not. Michael Pollan

Fairness is what justice really is. Potter Stewart

Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Fairness is not an attitude. It's a professional skill that must be developed and exercised. Brit Hume

Editorial...soapbox...my gripes about education

New SAT results released today show Texas students improved their math scores but received slightly lower reading scores this year. Nationally scores declined on both parts of the exam. Texas Education Agency August 29,2006

So, students aren't reading as well as they were....hmmm. I don't think any parent or any taxpayer has a right to complain about our schools and school systems unless they go up to the school and ask some pertinent questions. 1. Do you make your teachers teach to the TAKS test? 2. Is your library budget higher than your athletic budget? 3. Do you pay extra for your teachers who have earned their Master's degree?

Everyone has an opinion of our school system and I am about to give mine. Remember, I have been in the education field for 28 years. I get so tired of people griping about our school and our teachers and why teachers shouldn't get a raise. "They get off during the summer". "Oh, it's an easy job" and on and on and on. I vote our representatives and our esteemed governor needs to go and try teaching a class for a week (making the lesson plans, attending ARD's, bus duty, etc on top of teaching - remember, this is all with a 30 minute lunch time.)

So, gripe one is for the government stay OUT of teaching - let teachers teach. Nearly every year the state wants teachers to "try" a new technique - thinking it will raise the scores. They then spend thousands and thousands of dollars sending teachers to workshops to learn this new technique and thousands on the supplies needed for this new technique (which some person probably invented and offered the governor a kick-back if he would use it in the school system). After a couple of years, they say this technique didn't work, so they should try this next one. All the while, the teachers are suffering and the students are losing. They have taken the fun out of teaching. In the good old days, if a student brought in a catepillar, you could read all the students a book about catepillars, research catepillars, make charts and graphs about catepillars, write a story about catepillars and take a hike around the playground to see if you could find some more catepillars. Not now !! Oh, no !! Today at 9:05 you better be teaching math - if I walk in and want to observe you, you better be doing exactly what is in your lesson plans (which I approved of in the first place) and do not vary from them at all !!

Gripe two - pay teachers what they are worth. Ever thought of this....a doctor would not be where he is today if it weren't for a teacher?? A lawyer?? The richest man in the world had to go through school - taught by the poorest paid profession. It's sad that in America, the very people who shape our future, our children, are so poorly paid. Trash collectors in New York make more money than Texas teachers. Someone said that NY is not a good example because of the high cost of living in NY - my point is - Texas teachers are poorly paid and New York apparently thinks more of their trash collectors than Texas thinks of the very people who work with their loved ones - their prize possessions - their children.

Check to see how many teachers have a second and even sometimes a third job.

If you want to gripe that "teachers have the summer off", then insist on year-round school. If you will look, most teachers are working summer jobs and/or going to workshops to become better teachers.

Last year the average school teacher spent $468 of their own money for student necessities --
workbooks, pencils, paper -- supplies kids had to have that they could not afford. That's a lot of
money from the pockets of the most poorly paid teachers in the industrial world. Schools don't
teach values? The critics are dead wrong. Public education provides more Sunday School teachers than any other profession. The average teacher works more hours in nine months than the average employee does in a year.

Ever think of it this way.....what do you pay your babysitter? Let's go low and say $5.00 an hour - isn't even minimum wage, is it? But, we will stick to $5.00. Ok, let's say a teacher has 20 students...hmm,,that would be $100 an hour....8 hours...$800 a day...times 5 days a week...that makes $4,000 a week....$16,000 a month....times 12 (ohhh,,,we can't be off during the summer anymore!!)...oh, let's see ...that equals to $192,000 a year. $192,000....not even minimum wage - what the teachers do for your children. Think about it. After 28 years in the education field and earning my Master's degree, I make $40,000 a year.

Gripe three - and it's a biggee. I don't want to hear of anyone complaining about a school until they have gone up to the administration building and asked to see the budget comparison between the athletic department and the library budget. Aren't we in school for academics? Don't you want your students reading? Reading is a lifelong skill - throwing a ball is not. At my school, the athletic budget is $89,000....the library budget is $5,800. Yep, you read that right. I get tired of people saying "well, athletics brings money in"...well if athletics brings money in, then why do they need a budget? Or the other gripe "oh, kids would drop out if we didn't have athletics"...I disagree. I feel that a student if a student wants to drop out, then they will drop out. We need to offer more technical trades for the students who are not college-bound. But, let's spend the money on academics - teaching them basic skills, such as reading, math and writing - instead of athletics. But, if you don't mind your child playing with his balls instead of reading a book, then don't even bother doing anything.

Solution?? Ever notice how the big companies sponsor race cars and sports gear? Why couldn't they sponsor a school or a library? We could name our library Cheetos Library or Gatorade Library. Ok, I am smart enough to realize that companies would rather sponsor the football team - so, we could become the Cheetos Cheetahs, Gatorade Goonies, or the Valero Vultures - and then the school district could take the money that they previously gave the athletic budget and give it to the libraries. Everyone is happy.

Why not on a smaller scale? How come companies can't adopt a classroom? People would be amazed to learn how much money teachers spend out of their own pockets to keep their classrooms in working order. Companies could donate supplies, unused furniture, laptops that they no longer want or need, and even money. All of this would be a tax write-off. The companies would get some benefits and the students and teachers would get even more benefits.

Bottom line - do not complain that "Johnny can't read" or that our students are falling further and further behind until YOU do something - attend a school board meeting, check the budget, visit a classroom, volunteer, or donate.

How many are out there???

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 1,825 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Men - if you don't like strong women, then don't read my blog

Ok. I have had about 3 men read my blog and they have gotten mad. Quit talking to me. (as if I am going to lose sleep over that). But, the best one was from a man that said "well, you made me read your blog." I said "how did I make you read it?" He said,
"well, it's on your signature in your email!". I said, "if I had 'jump off a bridge' on there, would that make you go jump off a bridge??" He didn't reply.

Well, I don't know what to tell you except if you are a man and you don't like strong women, then don't read my blog.

On the other hand, I have had more men compliment me on my blog. That is nice. They aren't wusses. :)

One man said I have a chip on my shoulder. (and darn, I take a shower every morning - guess I don't scrub hard enough). But, my favorite line is "you have issues with men". I personally feel I don't issues with all men - there are a few nice men out there.

So, let this be a warning - don't read my blog if there is any inkling that you might be a wuss or tendencies to be one....you might get offended by some of my writings. Having put in this disclaimer - read on and enjoy!! :)

"Hello, my name is Susan"

The following is a short story I wrote. I hope you get the point.

"Hello, my name is Susan."

Tim silently groaned as the woman stuck out her hand for a handshake. "Oh God, why do I agree to meet these women that I have talked to online?" he thought to himself. He took another gulp of his drink.

"Hello, my name is Tim Johnson. Sit down." He spoke to her without even bothering to stand up and pull out her chair.

She smiled and sat down arranging her dress and putting aside her purse. He could tell that she had taken extra time and effort with her appearance. But, for what?

"Want something to drink?" he asked her, motioning to the waiter, knowing that drinks were going to be the only thing that kept him going tonight.

"I will take some iced tea please," she said. "I rarely drink."

"Oh God," Tim thought, "it's going to be a long night."

As he gulped his drink and ordered another one, he decided to hell with it and that he had enough of this blind dating. "Look," he said, "I am going to be totally honest with you. I don't like fat women. Why didn't you tell me when we were talking online that you were fat?"

"Because you never asked." Susan replied flatly. "I was hoping you would be a nice man and not judge people and would know it's what is on the inside that matters and not the outside."

"Well, you hoped wrong. Why do women let themselves get fat? Don't you know how to limit your portions? Watch what you eat? Exercise? Fat people are nothing but lazy!"

Susan couldn't believe how rude he was being; but, she decided to consider the source and to stand her ground. "Look, you can call me overweight; but, you should not call me lazy! I graduated the top of my class at college. Maybe I decided to exercise my brain and not my body!"

Tim ordered another drink. He was tired. Tired of women using him, tired of trying to find the right woman, tired of being alone, and definitely tired of these blind dates.

"I am surprised they have panty hose in your size," he said. "Don't your thighs try to start a fire whenever you walk and they rub against each other that way?"

"It's probably easier for me to find pantyhose that fit, " she said, "than for you trying to find your penis when you go pee! Research shows that a man that does not like or tolerate an overweight woman has a smaller than average penis." Susan replied matter-of-factly.

"Time for another drink and another round." Tim said. "I will have you know that I have more than an adequate penis. I even have references to prove it. Not that you will ever see it."

Susan smiled. "That's a relief." she said.

Tim decided the heck with it. "So, why did you let yourself get so fat? Like those doughnuts too much? I work out in a gym three times a week and I ride my bicycle at least two times a week. Couldn't you do that?"

Susan just stared at him. Then she looked over and saw two women. "Look over there at those two women. One is about a size 8 and the other is about a size 14. If I weren't here, you would think that size 14 woman was fat. And if she wasn't here, you would think that size 8 woman is fatter than that size 2 woman over there. See! No matter what, there will always be someone smaller and someone bigger than me. Let's say you got your wish and all women were a size 2, oh, then you would find something else to complain about - maybe their boobs are too small, maybe their butt isn't big enough, or their hair is too short, or their ears are too large. It will always be something to judge or compare to others. Think how dull this world would be if everyone was the same size - the same robot form."

Tim was glassy-eyed by then, having had way too many drinks. "Well, stay fat and have a heart attack!" he slurred.

"Well, being in my line of work, I see even the skinny people having heart attacks. Something is going to get you - might as well be happy while you are here." She smiled sweetly at him.

Susan knew none of this had sunk in - it never does with men like Tim. But, she also knew he was drunk.

"Look," she said, "you have had way too much to drink to be driving. Let me take you home."

"Oh, God, no!" Tim cried. "I don't want anyone seeing me with you!"

"Well, can I call you a cab?" Susan asked.

"Hell no! I can make it home." And with that, he threw down some money on the table for his drinks, got up, staggered, and walked out the door.

Two months later, Susan was busy at work. "We have a new arrival Susan." said the ambulance driver as he watched the workers wheel in the new patient to the nursing home where Susan worked. "He was in a car wreck and has spent the last two months in the hospital. He doesn't have any family or friends, so the doctors sent him here. Poor guy. He is paralyzed from the neck down. Drunk driving. And he's only 34. Will spend the rest of his life here. Shriveling up. His name is Tim Johnson.

Susan got up from her desk. She followed the ambulance workers to the room. They were just getting him into the bed. Slowly Tim turned his head towards her. His face showed no emotion - there was none left - not after two months of hospitalization, therapy, and the diagnosis of never walking again. But he recognized her - the last woman he had sat in a bar with, the last woman he had talked to. The last woman.

"Hello, my name is Susan."