Explore websites and no telling what you might find

As everyone in my family knows, I love my computer. No one can ever get me on my regular phone line because it's always busy - busy being hooked up to the computer. Exploring new websites is a favorite pasttime - you never know what you might find out there.

My latest addictive website is craigslist. In case you don't know about it...it is like a free classified newspaper. It has lots of different categories and people write in wanting all sorts of things and people write in selling all sorts of things.

I have my little routine - first I go to "pets", then I go to "men seeking women", and then I go to "furniture" (hey, at least I put the pets before the men) :) I go to the San Antonio site, the Austin site, the Corpus site (this one is kind of slow because it is new to the Corpus area), and when I am bored, I go to the Houston site.

I found my new little friend on craigslist. He is a sun conure - named Petri. He is just a baby - only 6 months old. I will write more about Petri later.

I go to furniture because I do need some new furniture. Don't even ask me why I shop the furniture because if and when I do find something, I will then need a truck, or a flat bed trailer and then about two men to go do the lifting....like I said, it's a pasttime. I enjoy reading the ads....why do people insist on saying why they are getting rid of the furniture??? "we are downsizing, so we are getting rid of this bedroom furniture"..."my grandmother was put in a nursing home, so we are selling her furniture"..."I am getting married, so we are combining two households of furniture, so we need to sell this"...why??? Just put "for sale"...who cares why you are selling it. But, it does make for good reading...heck, maybe when I am selling something I will put it "my x husband just got out of prison and he is wants to come and get his chest of drawers in which he hid his secret papers, so I want it out of my house as soon as possible - very good price - please come and get it during night hours"....think that would make for good reading?? :)

Now, on to the "men seeking women". My daughter says I just do this to "antagonize" the men....I say they start it. What I do is go through the ads and when I see some man upset because he can't find a good woman, but then he goes on to say "I want a skinny woman", I proceed to write him and tell him that not all "good women" are skinny. Oh, my favorite is when a man writes in and says he is 5'6" and weighs 400 lbs. but he wants a "skinny, petite woman". So, I proceed to write and ask him why does he want something that he can't give to someone??

So, I have to write to them and give them my speech that it's what is on the inside that matters and not the outside. Just like my favorite quote from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Yep, you are right...the men don't like this, so many write back and then the fight begins. But, surprises never cease to exist, and one day I wrote "what goes around, comes around" to a man. He proceeds to write back and explain his side of the story. He explains that his last love was overweight and she passed away and that is why he didn't want someone overweight. Ok, I fall for it. So, I proceed to tell him that I would try to match him up with a skinny friend of mine. (that blog comes later)

He even wrote a rebuttal to "Things Girls Want Guys To Know": His is in italics. And my rebuttal to his rebuttal is in bold.

1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.
The same goes both ways...it may take us longer, but we eventually find out.
But, by the time you have it figured out, we will be on to your next lie.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
That's not always true..some women get more excited talking dirty. But, if they don't talk dirty, don't force the issue.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
Ditto!!
4. Girls are petty, get over it.
Girls are petty with other girls, and themselves. Their rants to a guy are just an extension of themselves.
Isn't anything a girl says an extension of themselves???
5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
You are right, we don't have PMS, we have PWS. That usually kicks in with the sound of a cash register ringing in our heads whenever you come home with 4 new pairs of shoes you'll wear only once or twice. Men should also be warned about a certain entrapment that comes with open-ended questions like "Does this make me look fat?" Don't answer that question with a straight Yes or No. Always give a descriptive answer that is pleasing to the ears. That way, she can't hold either answer (which will ALWAYS be wrong) against you.
6. Say something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
One word - flowers.
Another word - diamonds.
7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't.
Any asshole who talks about his shortcomings always uses big words.
8. Size DOES matter.
We get even bigger if you can work your magic on the inside as well.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.
Mr. Big, Mr. Teddy Bear, Mr. Fix-It, Mr. Auto Mechanic, Mr. Furniture Mover, Mr. Patient at the department store, etc.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
And your collection of purses, jewelry, shoes, clothes and makeup only impress the homegals.
11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a hoe.
And your ex-boyfriend is a gigolo.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
Especially during periods of stress, PMS and other emotional outbursts.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't , apologize.
If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear it, is the guy still wrong?
Yes!!
14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
If you're in a relationship already, the same sexual position every time is boring. Spontaneity from a woman comes when you've done something completely above and beyond the call of duty.
Differences in men and women - women = dinner and a movie; men = sex
15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.
We knew this since we were teenagers.
And some men seem to never grow out of that "teenager" stage.
16. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
That is a matter of preference. Some women don't like to give it, but most all love to get it (if done properly). Ever think of what we need to do or how we get psyched up when it's time to go fishing for a tuna taco?
Never heard of it being done improperly.
17. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, football, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
Ditto goes for what was on Oprah, the Lifetime Channel, Style Network, Days of Our Lives, Sex in the City, Glamour Magazine, the beauty shop, your best friend's boyfriend/husband, and the nail parlor.
So, it wouldn't count if my best friend's husband got a new dartboard and was throwing a beer party??
18. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
Hugs are always good...not bear hugs, but remember, you can't break us so give us a firm hug. Guys should not forget a little light petting too. If she gets goose bumps, she likes you doing it to her.
19. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.
Some of us don't shave every day either. Don't get offended that we have nubs at 6 p.m. when we shaved at 6 a.m. Facial hair grows faster in the morning than in the evening.
And our leg hair only grows when we have to show our legs - they were hairless just a while ago.
20. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.
I bet you don't.
I bet we do.
21. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.
Once again, a matter of preference. I know many women who like that 3-day growth. That length is irritating to me and yet, just long enough to not rub you the wrong way.
22. Even if you think it's cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.
It's not cool, it is a necessity. Especially for me after having pintos, broccolli or chicken. While many women seem to be quiet about "poozing", men have a different body type in that pressure builds up until we need to release it. Of course we are a little embarressed, but shrug it off because we truly can't help it.
Please remind me to never make this man a broccolli chicken casserole served with pinto beans.
23. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's - hers are fake.
Pamela's boobs are not what we are looking at in the bedroom. A little advice - no matter what cup size you are, the more you wear a bra from puberty onward, the longer it takes for gravity to kick in.
Gravity will take hold of those boobs even if we wore a bra when we were in a baby's bed.
24. It is not cool snot rockets.
Never have done that myself, with with other men. For us, it's not cool to ask us in the presence of other men: "Honey, can you pick up some tampons/kotex at the store?"
Does this mean I can ask you this in private? and you will go and get them??
25. We will always think we are fat - so humor us and tell us we aren't.
I digress to number 5, third sentence.
26. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick so why can't you piss in the toilet and not ON it??
Until they invent a toilet that will automatically raise up about 18 inches higher, there will always be a splash. And about the toilet seat...I put it down after I pee, both the seat and lid. That way, there is parity...we BOTH need to lift something to go. I would appreciate it if you put the lid down. Also, if you have one of those sloppy poopy moments, remember to look under the seat afterwards, we pick that thing up to pee and see what's under there.
I vote for seperate bathrooms.