My Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, your love for art." The young man held out the package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no, sir. I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home, he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?" There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100? $200?"

Another voice angrily stated, "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But, still the auctioneer continued, "The son! The son! Who will take the son?"

Finally a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10! Let's see the masters!"

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now, let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry. The auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son to die on the cross for us. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"

Because you see, whoever takes the son....gets everything!

For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, who so ever believeth, shall have eternal life....that's love.

God Is In Control

A man from Norfolk, VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept. 11th, 2003. His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:

"A few weeks before Sept.11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister. On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her.

Shortly after I said 'amen', we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire. I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight. Both very upset, we drove home.

I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight. My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower. I was too shocked to speak.

My father also had more news for me; he was going to help. 'This is not something I can't just sit by for. I have to do something.'

I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up. Before he got off the phone, he said, 'Take good care of my grandchild.' Those were the last words I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.

My joy that my prayer for safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away.

My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say goodbye.

Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child. The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honor to meet his son.'

He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World Trade Center and had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her.

My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this. He then said, 'There is something else you need to know.'

His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ.

I began sobbing at the news. Now I know that when I get to heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves.

When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew in honor of the man who gave his life so that mother and baby could live."

This story should help us to realize two things: First - that though it has been five years since the attacks, we should never let it become a mere tragic memory. And second - but most important - God is always in control.

We may not see the reason behind things, and we may never know this side of heaven, but God is ALWAYS in control.

God doesn't called the qualified, He qualifies the called.

How To Make Your Spouse (or other) Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
without forgetting to:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other women
and at the same time, you must also:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
it is VERY important:
54. Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries, or any arrangements she makes

How To Make A Man Happy
1. show up naked
2. bring food

The Secret

One day, one friend asked another, "How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down."

With her eyes smiling, she said, "I know the secret!"

"What secret is that?"

To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the secret with others."

"The secret is this: I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."

The questioner's first thought was, "That's too simple!" But, upon reflecting over his own life he recalled how he thought a bigger house would make him happy, but it didn't! He thought a better paying job would make him happy, but it hadn't. When did he realize his greatest happiness? Sitting on the floor with his grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too ! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only God in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust Him !

And, now I pass the secret on to you. So once you get it, what will you do?

You have to tell someone the secret too! That God in His wisdom will take care of you! But, it's not really a secret...we just have to believe it and do it...Really Trust God!

Seven Wonders of the World

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes: Egypt's Great Pyramids, Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon, Panama Canal, Empire State Building, St. Peter's Basilica, and China's Great Wall.

While gathering the votes, the teacher noticed one student had not finished her paper yet.

So, she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have and maybe we can help."

The girl hesitated, then read: "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are: To see, To hear, To touch, To taste, To feel, To laugh, and To love."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wonderous!

A gentle reminder: the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

Christmas time - here is a nice present you can give to others - and it's free

Christmas is nearly here. The time to think of others. Isn't it wonderful - trying to get people the "right" present? Each time we go shopping, we are not thinking of ourselves; but, hopefully we are thinking of buying that special someone that special gift.

More importantly than presents, I feel that we should think of people's feelings. Try to go ONE DAY thinking of others - not yourself. No matter what happens during the day, no matter who you meet, put yourself in that other person's shoes.

When you look at someone, don't judge. When you see someone, don't let thoughts like these pop into your heard: "he is too skinny" "she is too fat" "his hair is too long" "her hair is too short" "his clothes are too baggy" "her clothes are too tight" "his nose is too big" "her ears are too small" and on and on and on.

Give each person you meet something that is from your heart- and is free - a smile.

See, I was blessed (or cursed) with "something" - don't know what to call it - but if I make fun of someone, then it strikes me. The first time this occurred was at school (work). We had an assistant band director who would walk through the foyer and visit with the school nurse. My door was right across the foyer from the nurse's door, so when the band director would visit with her (and I was standing at my door waiting on students), I got to partake in their conversations. One day, he walked off and I asked the nurse why his chin was always broke out (had tiny red bumps all over it). She said she didn't know. Well, that very afternoon, my curse (or blessing) struck!! I went to the beauty shop to get a perm. I had the plastic wrap around my neck and my head was down while she was pouring on the solution. Yep, you got it - the solution ran down my head and drizzled onto my neck and it hit where my chin was touching the plastic wrap. Lo and behold - my chin got tiny red bumps all over it. I came back to school the next day, showed the nurse, and told her that is what happened to me because I had asked about the band director's chin.

I also get punished when I make fun of my mother losing her hearing. It never fails - if I laugh at her or make fun of her for not being able to hear us (I have frequently told her we need to learn sign language), then the next day I will catch myself saying "huh, what did you say?" It never fails.

Now I am not saying that I am "better" than anyone else - I am just telling you what happens to me and how I learned not to make fun of people or judge them (oh it still happens occassionally - but, as soon as I do, I know it will strike me)...so maybe I should put "I have learned not to judge people as often as I used to". What if everyone had this curse (or blessing)? Just think what kind of world we would have. No one would be thinking bad thoughts about other people or judging others - either that or they are gluttons for punishment.

So, people, that is your homework assignment - go one day without thinking bad thoughts or judging people that you come in contact with. Give everyone you meet a present - a free present - your smile. And when you see someone you would like to judge, think "there by the Grace of God, go I". Makes you think.

Update on one of the previous blogs

If you have been reading my blogs, you will see in one that I promised you an update on the guy that didn't like overweight women (and I was going to set him up with my skinny friend). Well, this is what happened. First, I had to go back and edit that post because I had put in his name and website (yep, here I had given him a compliment - telling women how nice he was and that he was single, and gave out his website - and what happens?? Well, here it comes)

In case you are wondering why there was so much time lapst in between the blogs was because as email buddies go, we stopped writing to each other. Remember, I wasn't good enough for him because I am overweight. Then one day, I was checking the craigslist and I came across another ad he had posted - claiming that he had spent Thanskgiving alone. I wrote to him and asked if that was him (can't use names - to protect the guilty). And he wrote back and said "yes, it was him". I asked him why he had spent Thanksgiving alone - he could have spent it with my family (yes, that is how gullible, stupid, kind-hearted I am - will invite a man to my family's Thanksgiving who doesn't like me). So, we get to talking about me setting him up with my friend - so, I decided to get busy. I knew she wasn't going to like this but hey, you never know...besides, death isn't that bad (just in case she did decide to kill me). So, I gave him her work email address. He writes to her. And I worry about being killed. She was absent. Now I had to worry another day. She was absent. I am spared for another weekend. Monday comes. I see her !! I meekly ask if she has read her email. She says, "Yes, and I am going to kill you." (see, I told you so) :) She is confused - why am I trying to set her up when I am single and he could ask me out. I explain that he doesn't like fat women. She makes a face. (See, she is smarter than I am - I guess she knows that if he can judge me, then he can judge her). She says NO THANK YOU and that is the end of that. Then he writes and says that apparently she is not interested because she never writes back. So, I told him what happened and then I send him a forwarded email that is titled "you think fat is ugly?" and it shows pictures of these super-skinny women - I mean where their bones are showing. (Speaking of which, I saved the email in case any of you want to see it). So, then the fight begins. Here is our email conversation. His will be in bold. Happy Reading. :)

You know Diane, I never said "fat is ugly". In fact, I love a gal with a little meat on her bones. What makes you think I only like skinny women is beyond me. I ONLY DON'T PREFER WOMEN WHOSE HEALTH IS IN DANGER!!! I've lived it and lost it...and I take offense to what you told _____ (my friend's name). I am not a shallow person and I wish you would get over that. But evidently you can't and look what kind of relationship advisory you turned out to be.
Good bye !

I hate to point this out - but you are a shallow person. You ARE looking for at a woman's outsides instead of her insides before you want to start a relationship. The last man I dated was a big man - he was 6'11" (yes, you read that right) and he probably weighed 500 lbs. He was a diabetic and had already lost one leg to the disease. We met through a dating service. We talked on the phone and I liked him, so we decided to meet. He was a manly man!! Where ever he went, he commanded the room. He did not let his disability slow him down one minute. In fact, the first day we met, we was wearing shorts. There he was in shorts, with his fake leg showing. Nothing bothered him. I really liked him. Oh, we would have our squabbles but he would come back to me. He spent Thanksgiving with my family one year. Then, that December he had to go to the dr. They put him in the hospital. His family called and wanted me there. So, I went to be with him. He died early the next morning. I was by his side. Is this going to keep me from dating a big man in the future? NO. Is this going to keep me from dating a diabetic man? NO. I won't date them if they aren't nice to me - but, I am not going to judge them on their weight nor their disease. Why did you take offense at what I told my friend? It was the truth. So, this is goodbye. I guess you learned never to trust a fat relationship coach if you don't like fat women. Also, I hope you have learned something else - but that will remain - but it will give you something to think about when you spend holidays alone.

So you have to have the last word huh? Well, Diane - take your male-bashing self and go espouse to all the hateful things that have ever happened to you in your life. And convert your pain into something that you, and only you, feel is constructive. Good luck in your life because it appears it is going to be a very very lonely one.

Just trying to make a point to you. You lost a love and now you want to put limits on your next love. I was just trying to tell you that not everyone does that. You ARE the one that will end up lonely. I am never lonely - you never see me posting an ad on craigslist. I would rather live alone than be lonely with another. And, how come men, when women point things out to them that hit home, they suddenly get defensive and say things like "she has issues with men" or "male bashing"??

```````````````````````````````````````````````````
So, that was the end of my dating relationship coaching....well, of that one...I am sure there will be others in the future. :)

Tis the Season to think of others

December is here. The time to think of others. Why can't we carry over this feeling the other 11 months??

The following story says a lot about our thoughfulness.

A GLASS OF MILK

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal, he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said, "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many years later, that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his docto's gown, he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day, he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take her the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk."
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank you God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again, at least you will have made the world a better place. And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?

Craigslist ads for men looking for women

Update: Remember I love going to craigslist and looking at the ads for pets, men, and furniture. One of these days, I am going to give you a list of some of the stupid ad titles that are out there. But, in this blog, I want to tell you about my latest "squabble" with a man. I usually browse the ads looking for the most stupid one - but, to be fair, if it's a good ad, I will send am email to the person telling them that they did write a good one.

Well, the other day, I was cruising the ads and I came across this ad:
Question for the ladies about BBW's???? - 40
What is BBW? Would it be; Big Busty WOmen (large breasts), or Big Beautiful Women, (politely said overweight), or am I missing it altogether?
What if she had large breasts and a thin waist would she then be called voluptuous?
And if it is Big and Beautiful, then how big is big?
And is Obesity truly beautiful or should someone be helping? It is not a joking matter.
These terms are so general, I personally like women in the middle, so what would you call that? A few extra pounds with some breasts...LOL
It is really confusing. I like all women, we are all unique individually. I would not like to categorize someone that is hurtful. I would like to meet up with someone who is in the middle of all that. But what it truly boils down to is the person, I've met many an attractive women without a personality and many a larger girl with enough to share.
I guess I will remain single guy "swimming in the fish bowl" (my age give-away), and the age thing is another stereo-type in the Single Shopping Mall of Vanity.
Myself, I am shopping for the person.
I really don't fit it do I?

Ok, people, that was his ad. In case you don't know - that 40 in the title means (or supposed to mean) that he is 40 years old.
Well, like the fool that I am, I fell in the trap and I just had to respond. Maybe to help clarify him on what a BBW is?? Maybe to point out his slip-ups?? Anyways, I responded. And I am happy to share our email exchange. Mine will be in normal print and his will be in the bold print. No names - to protect the guilty. :) Comments will come after the conversation. :)

BBW = Big Beautiful Women. I guess you will never "fit in" until you decide it's whats on the inside that counts and not the outside.

Hey there Dr. Diane. You obviously didn't read my posting. I do In Fact Look for the person. Perhaps the real truth is that stereo-typing goes with those who read what they want and not what is written. Yes, I do take offense. You seem to be the judge and not the "rule" like your blog.

Oh, but I did read your posting and the sentence that did you in was the one where you were talking about personality and some large women have lots of personality...well, then what was wrong with them?

Wrong...try a direct cut and paste quote: "I've met many an attractive women without a personality and many a larger girl with enough to share." I was not talking about you in all probability doesn't like the opposite sex, am I guessing correct? Again, you read what you wanted.

I must have hit a nerve and that is why you are on the defensive and putting me down. Ok, for the direct quote "I've met many an attractive women without a personality and many a larger girl with enough to share." ...so, what happened to the larger woman? How come you aren't still with her? Or were you ever with her?

No, not a nerve but you started by "downing" me with my "own" words. And it couldn't be further from the truth. I love "most" people no matter who or how they are. The larger girl you are talking about ??? Huh? I said that usually "the larger girl" has more personality, though not always the case, my essay (if you will) was for "the large girl", not one I lost, or used to have, I actually don't date BBW women, I lost 120 lbs and maintain a active healthy lifestyle, we have little in common. However I totally support anyone trying to lose weight, I have been there. I was born fat, I lived a fat life. I consider myself to still be fat. It's the world that tells me I'm not. Doc lets stop this and move our energies to the bedroom....Ok, just kidding, you see I have a sense of humor. PS: Our energies in the bedroom would probably be like fire and gasoline, NICE!

Ok, we will stop this...but you actually proved my point - you don't date BBW's. Why?? You said you don't have anything in common - have you ever dated a BBW?? Or do you just look at them and have a pre-conceived notion that they couldn't keep up with you?

I lift weights, ride bikes for twenty miles, and run on the tread mill 5 days a week. If you know of a BBW that could do that she would have to consume millions of calories to keep her BBW statues. I won !!!!! Lets get together and screw.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Our email conversation. It was over when I stated he was Mr. Perfect. I was being facetious, of course, but I guess he took it as the truth and went out and strutted his stuff to the world.

Commentary: Now why did he even put BBW in his ad if he doesn't date BBW's? Was he looking for a response from a BBW? Why did he put he say "I like all women", when in fact, he stated later that he doesn't date BBW's? Why did he say he was shopping for the person, when he then later stated he was not looking for a BBW?

Notice how I ignored how he stated that I must not like the opposite sex?? And, also notice how I ignored his kind and generous invitation to "take our energies to the bedroom" and to "screw"...how romantic.

Ladies, that is what is out there. Be careful. They state one thing but mean another. Or do they even know what they mean??? Or worse yet, do they even know what they want??? Or can or can't handle????